1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize