So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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