If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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