paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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