I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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