u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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