C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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