there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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