Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize