You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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