i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
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All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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