we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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