I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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