i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize