Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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