haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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