I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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