Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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