i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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