3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize