I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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