so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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