dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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