I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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