We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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