I have demons in me.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
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my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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