i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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