I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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