I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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