I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just found puke in my bra..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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