During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize