I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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