Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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