the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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