we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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