I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize