did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize