well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize