do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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