Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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