dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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