Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize