So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
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Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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