Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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