oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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