I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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