So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize