3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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