When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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