Jerry, you need to find god
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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