fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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